"Create like a child." @malexzen_

Dear Diary,

My full name is Mallika Bhalla, I go by “malexzen” on the internet and have for a while. I’m 21, currently from India.

Credit: Mallika (Instagram @malexzen_)

I remember talking to my friends in seventh grade about anime. It was my first introduction to it. I watched this very cute anime called Gabriel Dropout, and I had these intense emotions of just wanting to draw cute things, if that makes sense. That’s when I religiously started making art for the sake of it and wanting to improve every single day. I found traditional art to be a bit expensive and not very expressive in those terms, so I had an iPad that I would sketch on with a cheap stylus using IbisPaint, then gradually moved on to buying a little graphic tablet and making art on Paint Tool SAI. It was all super anime and kawaii back then.

It was 2016 for me, and I remember being on Instagram as the hub of art, where all the great artists were. I would watch my favorite artists like Sassuchi, Loish, and Sarucatepes. I think these three giants really influenced my artwork and have always stayed with me throughout time. It was really fun in 2016 to be in a space filled with so much love and support, but over time it just kept getting worse. It became more of a competition instead of a community, if that makes sense — like a race, instead of people actually cheering each other on. I’ve had three accounts, which shows the fact that I’ve given up multiple times, but I keep coming back for some reason. This time it’s sort of working out, and I can start fulfilling my lifelong wish: getting commissioned for money and having art I can truly call my own.

Credit: Mallika (Instagram @malexzen_)

As I said, I’ve given up like three times. One of my accounts got hacked in December last year, and it became sort of the sign that made me start fresh, I guess — and I persisted. I would definitely say I wish for Instagram to go back to the way it was, but I think everything has its own advantages and disadvantages. One thing that I will never, ever forgive, though, is the short retention span that reels have given all of us. I will obviously hate what Instagram has done to the art community — stealing from it, betraying it — and I know that it will never go back to the way it was, but I can’t help still hoping for the future of art.

Credit: Mallika (Instagram @malexzen_)

I think what sparks my creativity personally is just wanting to be

able to express myself in a mess of interests, hyperfixations, and insanely shortened attention spans. I feel like I focused so much on the nitty-gritty details of learning how to draw that I gave up the part of me that finds interest in things. So I made a loop back — from developing and honing my skills to just focusing on drawing cute things, the goal I started with all along. I want my art to reach people and be relatable in the sense that when they see it, they recognize me.

I think a lot about what Tyler, the Creator said: “Create like a child.” So maybe that’s it — create like a child. Find what interests you, dissect it, create it, do whatever, and treasure your curiosity.

Until then!

Mallika